This article was originally published on LuxurList
Everyone's been caught wearing a few outfits they were not too proud of. It just happens - you wear something you think is very stylish, only for you to realize you looked like a total wardrobe catastrophe in hindsight, committing a horrible crime against fashion. Thankfully, when this happens in the real world, most people are kind enough to never mention it again. Not us though. Scroll through to witness some of the most appalling dresses ever posted on the web!
A Whole New Meaning to the Phrase: Zip It
On second thought, maybe should unzip it, and just totally swap out that dress for something that doesn't make us want to wash our eyes. We're not sure why the designer of this dress decided to add a huge zipper right through the middle of a body-colored cloth, but we do know that it was a bad idea that nobody should strive to take inspiration from unless we're talking about negative inspiration.
And by negative inspiration, we of course mean: what not to do. This is a perfect example of how a dress definitely should not be made. No offense, we're sure the artist had better works.
This Is Wrong On So Many Levels
You know, apart from that huge glaring flaw in the dress that we dare not name because it's too vulgar for us to directly address it, this is actually a cool dress. We love the pink color and the 3D, cheap CGI look of that character on the front of the dress. The thing is, is that there's only one thing wrong with the dress, but it's absolutely loathsome and abominable.
Seriously, why on Earth did they even decide to put that on the dress. It's clearly intentional. There's no way that this was done by accident. So the question remains: why?
Going For That Extra-Terrestrial Man-Eating-Plant Look
Man, nature is wild. Unfortunately, so is this person's fashion sense. We're not sure what she was going for with this one, but we do know that it makes us feel kind of uncomfortable. We don't know what that hairy, circular thing is, but it looks quite R-Rated. All we can say is that we hope she didn't bust out this outfit for her family get-together. Her parents would have gone wild.
That thing on her back definitely as thought it was pulled straight out of a horror flick. It looks like a man-eating alien plant or something like that. It's terrifying.
Normalize Dressing Like Birds
Okay, we're going to be totally honest about this one - we weren't sure about it at first, but then we saw this dress compared to that bird's hat and now we are all for it. Seriously, we're hooked. Big time. Why doesn't everyone dress like this? Why shouldn't we all dress as though we were cute little birdies? Surely that would make a few things right in this world of ours.
We can only speak for ourselves when we say that we love this, but we do hope that this picture inspires us all to be more bird-like in our outfits.
She May Have Taken the Camping Theme Too Far
So one of her friends was probably like: "Hey, we're missing a sleeping bag for the camping trip." and then she was like: "No problem. I've got you guys covered." See, because she's the sleeping bag. Get it? Okay, maybe that's just a bit too mean, but we can't lie: this outfit definitely feels more like a piece of camping gear than a dress. Sorry to whoever designed it, but a rework may be due.
It might seem mean to dunk on people's creations like this, but sometimes what people really need is a bit of constructive criticism, and we are more than happy to offer just that.
Nice Dress, But You're Still Undressed
So, while this dress isn't as unfashionable or fashionably offensive as the previous dresses we've covered throughout this article, we do have a different problem with it: It's just not that much of a dress. Like, there's not a lot of dressing going on with this dress, is there? To put it another way: This dress definitely is not leaving a lot to the imagination if you know what we mean.
Not to say that this isn't pretty; we'd be lying if we were to say she wasn't rocking that look. And yet, the question remains: won't she get a bit cold wearing just that?
Are Those... Ravioli?
Umm.. what? We are definitely going to need a rundown on what on Earth those pants are supposed to be. Like, why would anybody in their right mind design a pair of pants like that? We're not even sure if those squares on her behind are pieces of embroidered tapestry, skin-colored patches, or literally just holes in the pants revealing the model's framed backside. Seriously, what is going on here?
We have seen quite a few pieces of legwear in our time, but we have never seen something quite like this. We've never seen something as ludicrous as these pants.
New Spring Outfit: The Pillowcase Look
Going to bed early, 'mam? Well, you sure look it. That dress definitely seems like something we would cover our beloved bed pillows with. Scratch that, that dress seems like the actual pillows themselves, with the cover and all. We're not sure why the designers behind this piece of experimental sleepyhead fashion designed this pillow dress, but they should probably contemplate the differences between bed sheets and dresses. Maybe that'll do them some good.
We can't, however, just roast this dress without saying one good thing about it. Despite the pillowcase design, we do have to admit that this shade of glossy green is underused and underrated.
This Shouldn't Even Be Called A "Dress"
Look, we're pretty liberal when it comes to our fashion sense. We won't mind it that much if somebody were to call a pair of loafers "lace-up shoes" or if somebody called a sweatshirt a sweater or something like that, but it'll be hard to convince us that whatever this is, is a dress. That just isn't a dress. A dress has to, well, dress the person that is wearing it.
And we definitely cannot say that the woman in this photograph is fully dressed. Okay, maybe she is, and our concept of being well-dressed needs to be adjusted, but this is pushing the envelope.
The Jeans Dress - The Jress.
We never thought we'd live to see the day when the jeans dress (otherwise known as the "Jress") would reign supreme. Thankfully, that day hasn't come yet. But this picture of an incredibly fashionable model posing perfectly in a jeans dress makes us wary. Like, this could definitely pass as a Vogue model or something. We just hope this won't start a new wave of Jeans-dresses that'll override whatever's going on today in fashion.
Not to say that the model's doing anything wrong - she's just doing what she was paid to do. The problem lies with trendsetters of our generation. To them, we say: Please don't usher us into the age of the Jress.
The Tactical Espionage Camo Look
Other than the two suction cups with strange valves coming right out of them where the model's bra should be, this dress would definitely fit in a piece of desert camo reserved for super, top-secret agents and James-Bond-like spies. But those suction cups are quite the discrepancy, especially when you're trying to camouflage yourself. Didn't this lady learn anything in camouflaging 101? You've got to blend in with your environment.
Also, we haven't touched on what's going on with her feet. Are those shackles? Is that a bunch of scrambled tinfoil? Why does this lady have tinfoil furled across her feet?
We're Just as Mortified as Her
We're not even sure what is going on in this picture or why this fit is so horrendously terrible, but we do know that both we and the person wearing it feel terribly uncomfortable. Maybe that's it, though; maybe it's just the fact that the model is feeling incredibly uncomfortable in this suit which makes the whole fit look bad. On the other hand, something about just doesn't seem right.
Which is strange given just how fashionable suits and formal dresses tend to be. They just tend to look good on most people, regardless of body shape and build. Not this time.
We're Not Sure What's Wrong With This Dress But It's There
It's hard to point the finger on the exact thing that makes this dress seem outlandish and bizarre, but it's definitely there. We cannot be the only ones imagining it - something is just a tad bit off with this dress. This, by the way, is perfectly acceptable; there's nothing inherently wrong with wearing something weird, but one should own up to the fact that he is wearing something weird.
Anyways, we'd be thoroughly spooked and perhaps even a bit weirded out were we to witness somebody casually strolling around in public wearing this dress. We wouldn't know how to react.
Just Came Back From the Ocean Floor Look
Oh, damn. She's got the Moss-11s - the rare piece of underwater apparel that doubles as both a dress and vintage streetwear. Okay, we're just making things up. But could you imagine a world in which growing live plants on your outfits was socially acceptable? On second thought, neither can we. That is, however, exactly what this person did. We applaud her for her eco-friendly fashion vision, but it's still weird.
Like, this dress looks as though somebody just fished hit out of the ocean, or as if it were the outer side of a house in the suburbs or something like that.
High-End Fashion Is So Weird Sometimes
We don't know what the deal is with all those high-end, super fancy-schmancy, we're tempted to say pretentious fashion events, but they somehow always feature some incredibly strange, totally unwearable pieces of clothing that no sane person would ever think of wearing on a day-to-day basis. And yet, maybe that's exactly the point - to see what kind of wacky stuff we can come up with that could pass as clothing.
If so, maybe we should stop viewing these events as the peak of everyday fashion, and start seeing them more like elaborate pieces of performance art or something like that.
It's Football Season!
Go Packers! Or something. Whatever. We're not too big on football. Do you know who is big on football, though? This gal right here. Don't believe us? Well, maybe this photo of her dressed in a football-themed dress will change your mind. We would roast her for wearing this if it weren't actually really funny. Like, it's obvious that this person's got a good sense of humor. We can't roast her for that.
On the other hand, maybe she isn't joking, and she genuinely adores that football dress. If that's the case, then we definitely don't have the heart to roast her. You do you, girl!
Artsy Fartsy Much?
This one is actually kind of beautiful, but not in a "this a dress I'd wear on a day-to-day basis" kind of way. It's pretty in an "I dressed up as a gothic, arthouse flower for Halloween and nobody really understood the costume" kind of way, which is the best kind of pretty in our opinion. On second thought, maybe we should start normalizing dressing this way. Like, why not?
Maybe all those prestigious fashion events and runways were good for something after all. Like, we definitely wouldn't have come up with this evil flower look totally on our own.
No Offense But She Kinda Looks Like a Jellyfish
We get it. Everyone wants to nail the Disney princess look. There's just no getting around it - anyone who grew up on classic and timeless Disney films gets it. Unfortunately, their larger-than-life dresses often don't translate too well into reality. Case in point - this photograph right here. While this person may have had a vision and the best of intentions, reality disappointed her and truly did her dirty.
So next time you feel like breaking out the Disney dress, you may want to reconsider. Unless you want to end up looking like a jellyfish, that is. That's the hard truth.
This Makes Us So Uncomfortable
Oh dear lord, this dress makes us feel a lot of things we'd be better off not feeling. It gives us goosebumps, but not in an emotional and exciting way, but in a cosmic horror, we're scared of the incomprehensible kind of way. We're not sure who's more to blame here - the person who designed this dress, or the person who voluntarily wore it. Either way, we hope neither of them did it again.
This is also an interesting choice of clothing to wear when you have a tattoo kind of awkwardly right where the hole in your dress is. Like, we're getting the urge to center the tattoo. The asymmetry is haunting.
Why Would Anyone Add Groping Hands to a Dress?
Now, this is one of those dresses that seems more like an art project than an actual piece of clothing that somebody would wear. We do feel as though a large part of clothing is keeping things off our bare skin, such as dirt, wild animals, and the outside world at large. So it may just be a bit defeatist to have a dress littered with groping hands. It just seems to defeat the purpose of clothing.
On the other hand, maybe this is an evocative piece of art that's supposed to make us think of the purpose of clothing and subvert the way we usually think about things. Then again, maybe not.
The Good Old Gift Wrap Look
This is the type of dress that doubles as a last-minute gift wrap for your last-minute Christmas gift that you completely forgot to until the day of your family get together. Either that, or it's some weird microwave popcorn, tinfoil, outer space dress that we're not sure how one is supposed to make heads or tails of. Seriously, what is that and what the heck is it made out of?
And on a completely different (yet related) note: Why would somebody make that? Like, this obviously wasn't meant to be worn, so why bother making the dress? People do weird stuff sometimes.
It Doesn't Get Any Cringier Than This
Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox's relationship may just go down as one of the most embarrassingly cringe love affairs of the 21st century unless they somehow redeem themselves and actually become likable. Only time will tell if that will happen but until then, there are a few things we can know for certain - like the fact that Megan Fox's dress is, for lack of a better term, revealing.
While we're at it, we might as well also point out Machine Gun Kelly's red suit. Like, we wouldn't say it looks bad, but it definitely is kind of cringe all things considered.
This Is What Eco-Friendly Fashion Means
This is the kind of future that Greta Thunberg, the Swedish high schooler turned eco-activist. imagined. This photo depicts the co-existence of humans and nature (specifically plant life) in previously unimagined ways. Yes, this photograph may hold the key to a greener, more eco-friendly way of life: All we have to do is stick a bunch of plants to our bodies and call it a dress. That'll surely do something.
We also can't ignore the bling on this gal, either. Those diamonds are sparkling. Heck, they're even dancing! Look at them go! This person has definitely got some pizzazz. That's for certain.
One Word: Why?
Woah, hold up. Whoever designed this dress should definitely give himself a long, hard look in the mirror and ask himself the simple question: Why did I make this? This dress is giving off some strong Alien (the movie) vibes. Maybe it's just our twisted brains, but we're definitely expecting a horrific extra-terrestrial being to jump out of that hole in the dress. It just looks as though this dress was made for those kinds of things.
Okay, but even if an alien doesn't come out of there, this dress is still pretty unnerving. It just has a very unsoothing quality to it that is hard to put our finger on.
Somebody Call PETA
These two definitely went all out with these dresses. The only thing they might want to reconsider is their choice of events. It's as they say - you have to dress for the part. And sometimes, dressing for the part means not overdressing or underdressing for the setting. We think this is one of those cases in which the people in question definitely did more than they were required to do.
They just stick out like a sore thumb when compared to all those people in classic formal clothing behind them. Maybe that was their intention, but it's still kind of funny to us.
The World Is Your Oyster. And Your Wardrobe, Apparently
A lot of people can get a bit lost for choice when it comes to their clothing. This makes sense given just how much there is to choose from; you could pretty much anything from anywhere in the world these days. That's way too much choice! Thankfully, this lady here came up with a neat solution - why not just wear the entire world as a dress? Good thinking, lady.
We do also wonder what kind of map this is - going by the special markings and lines on the skirt, this seems like some kind of weather report or something like that. Strange.
Why Is It Making That Face?
So there are pretty much two things we would like to address when it comes to this piece of clothing right here - the first would be just how much those zippers and highlighted pieces of cloth look like a cute, kawaii emoticon, which is kind of weird. What's even weirder, however, is the fact that this item of clothing has zippers exactly where the wearer's breast area would be were the shirt to be worn.
That just makes us say: What? Why? Why would anybody design such an article of clothing? Who would possibly want to wear that? Nothing is adding up anymore these days.
What Kind of Black Magic Is At Work Here?
What? What the heck is going on here? Where did the hands go? Why are there two huge oval holes in the middle of the dress? We don't get it - the topology of this piece of clothing has us absolutely flabbergasted and discombobulated. Did they conjoin the ends of the sleeves with the base of the dress? Is that what is going on here? We demand an explanation now!
Whatever they did to this dress, it looks freaky as hell, and it's giving off a strong witchcraft vibe, which we're all for. Go on sister, cast your freaky black magic.
The Deconstructed Flamingo Look - A Timeless Classic
We're not sure what possessed the person who designed this dress and what exactly they were going for when they made it, but it's safe to say that they missed their mark. At least, that's what it looks like. Maybe this is the dress designer's take on what a deconstructed flamingo would look like. If that's the case, then we were wrong - they definitely hit it out of the park with this one.
The only quesition is - why would that be the case? Why would somebody purposefully design a dress to look like an abstract flamingo? To that we say - we have no idea.
Checkmate
We heard dressing like a chessboard is making a comeback this year and we're all for it. We love chess. It's definitely an underrated hobby. But maybe, on second thought, dressing up like a chessboard won't do a lot of good for the game itself. Having a bunch of people cosplaying as chessboards just doesn't seem like good P.R. It would probably scare new away new players, to be honest.
But wait, we've got to comment on the actual outfit instead of just talking about chess. It looks as though somebody just randomly tied a few kitchen towels together and knit them into a dress. Strange.
Part Blanket, Part Towel, Part Dress
This is definitely the ultimate dress for those times when you've just come out of the shower and you don't know if you're in the mood to go out or just call it a day and hit the hay. This dress was made both for sleeping in and for walking around the city. The top part screams "Take me to a bar" yet the bottom part says "Tuck me in."
And finally, it also kind of looks like a towel. We'll be the first to admit that although we don't really "get" this dress, we've never really seen anything quite like it.
This One's Actually Pretty Fire
Okay, we cannot tell a lie. This outfit is actually fire. It goes hard. Just look at it. It looks like something out of a retro sci-fi flick, but in a good way, not in a nerdy, no-budget Star Trek episode kind of way. We're not saying that anyone would be able to pull it off or that it would suit every single type of event, but there's definitely a time and place to wear this bad boy.
The way that classic Adidas jumper was knitted onto the white dress is masterful. That's all. We have only good things to say about this dress, and with good reason.
No, You Don't Have X-Ray Vision. That's Just the Dress
No, you weren't bitten by a radioactive spider; you also did not fall on your head and accidentally activate superhuman abilities. You didn't gain any superhero powers - that's just the way this dress was designed. It's a strange decision, to design a dress that is partly see-through. Especially when the see-through part is the exact part you'd rather people would not see through, and yet this thing exists and someone probably purchased it.
That just goes to show you how much we understand fashion, which, in all honesty, we don't. We don't get fashion. That's what this dress has made painfully clear to us.
The Return of the God Forsaken Jeans Dress (Jress)
Just when we thought we were safe, the abominable jeans dress (otherwise known as the Jress) caught up to us yet again. Is there no getting away from this unfashii=onable nightmare? Will we ever be free from that horrible piece of clothing? This jeans dress is even worse than most jresses given that it has those stylistic tears and holes that jeans often do. That's just taking it too far, Cardi B.
We have no idea how she's keeping up a straight face while wearing that. No offense, of course. We're big fans of her music. It's just this dress that's bugging us.
Yeah, We Should Be Covering Our Eyes Too
They say that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, so when the beholder starts closing his eyes you better believe that whatever's lying there before him isn't very pretty. We're not sure what kind of unfashionable demon possessed this lady and made her wear this dress, but we can definitely see her resisting the only way she knows how - by not having to look at the very dress she's wearing.
Okay, we're joking. The dress really isn't that bad compared to some of the others on this list, but still, we wouldn't be caught in public wearing that. We'd close our eyes, too.